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Motivation. It’s fleeting and we all always search for it in any capacity to reach a goal. Often, people use quotes to ensure they keep the motivation for something once they have found it, until they see progress. I love a good motivational quote. I use them a lot on my Instagram, my Pinterest is covered in them, and I have several hanging on the walls of my office “neighborhood” (sob! Open office space!). I love when people share motivation with me, to encourage me and….motivate…me. But hear me when I say this:

Not all motivation is created equal.

Some motivation is cliche. Some is great. And some is downright damaging. So if the hair on the back of your neck prickles or you get annoyed at certain motivation, just know two things: 1) it’s not just you that feels this way, and 2) some motivation sucks. Lets just say it:

Some “motivation” can actually hold you back from reaching your goals.

I’ve compiled some of my least favorite motivational quotes, and crowd-sourced and asked some of my followers on Instagram for theirs – below are the quotes, and why they’re harmful, misleading, or just downright wrong. 

Do it for the “holy shit you got hot”

NO DON’T!! Why on earth would you be doing this for someone else? If you want to lose weight or gain weight or whatever and you aren’t doing it for YOU, you need to step back and reexamine your choices. Is this pressure, is this damaging your mindset, why do you feel like you need to do anything for the reaction of others? Do you feel like you need to do this in order to get affection or someones love? These feelings are problematic. Does it feel good to hear a WOAH!? Sure! But that’s a cool by-product, it shouldn’t be your reason for losing weight or getting fit.

ALSO – one of my least favorite things ON THIS PLANET is someone telling me to smile in a situation that doesn’t require smiling (i.e. staring at my computer screen, waiting in line, watching a movie…). So how can I complain that I don’t want someone to tell me to smile because I am not on this earth to be visually appealing for their benefit, yet then lose weight with the sole purpose of making myself more visually appealing for someone else’s benefit? And who says I wasn’t hot 10 or 50 pounds ago??

“I will not erase all my hard work because it’s the weekend”

You won’t waste your hard work regardless of it being the weekend or not. Just be balanced all the time! That way one wild day doesn’t make a difference. You want to go out and celebrate a friends birthday, and have 5 drinks? Great! Have fun, don’t drive, and there you go, you didn’t ruin your progress. The thought that one day or one meal will suddenly make you gain weight or lose progress (especially if said progress was building muscle…) gives people permission to be fearful or create rules around food, which can turn very dangerous.

When you chose to let go of the limits regarding diet culture, you will find a more freeing food experience. Rather than foods being “bad” or “cheats” or “forbidden except for special occasions” food becomes….food, and you find a solid groove.

“Once you see results it becomes an addiction”

I think this one is a mixed bag. It can go either way. Is this potentially permission to get unhealthily obsessed with progress? Yes. Is enjoying the fruits of your labor a bad thing? Absolutely not! Love it, revel in it, be proud of it! But the use of the word addiction is where I struggle with this. Addiction is not something to be promoted, encouraged, or seen as a good end goal. Addiction with seeing results can lead to extremes – in weight loss, in working out, at work, in life – and extremes can lead you to a bad place. I’d just like to rephrase it to something like, “Your pride grows as you see the results of your dedication.” or something like that.

“A moment on the lips, forever on the hips”

Well that’s simply not true. If you’re balanced and enjoying in moderation, you can have a danged cinnamon roll, drink a few beers, the donut, the popcorn, the ice cream, the chocolate, whatever, because you are eating in a well-balanced way, and working out appropriately for your body, body type, and fitness. Plus, what if you don’t carry weight in your hips!? (I kid, I kid!)

“I will reach my goal weight this year”

There is nothing inherently bad about this quote. In fact, being determined to reach your goals is admirable and rad. But…how about setting and reaching goals, weight on the scale be damned? Like, what if your goal becomes to incorporate more veggies and protein into your diet, and then you’ll see that change physically. Or to workout 3 days a week with weights? Then you’ll see THAT goal manifest physically. How about if you’re working on gaining, then to set yourself as adding challenging foods into your diet that you may not have incorporated before, and thus, see it happen.

I think that this one bothers me because I had a number in my head before I started my weight loss, and as I lost the weight, I realized that my body will never be that weight…but will look great 10 pounds heavier than that anyway. We put random goals and numbers in our heads then are devastated if we don’t reach them…and it makes us ignore our previous success.

“Just breathe”

Why yes, thank you, I will continue doing what my body automatically does and that will in fact calm me down and help me to better face any situation without actually addressing said situation/emotion/event. *SO MUCH SARCASM* Alongside this one is “just don’t be anxious”, which my usual response is, “OK, then if you break your leg…just un-break it.”.

I understand the actual reasoning behind the just breathe suggestion – your fight or flight response shuts off rational thought in your brain, and all oxygen goes to your legs (big muscles so you can run away) rather than your brain, and by taking deep, controlled breaths (like 4 seconds in, hold for 7, and out for 8) can redirect that oxygen to your brain and restore rational thought. BUT, if you aren’t suggesting breathing like I just described, then saying “just breathe” is a throwaway comment that isn’t helpful, and can be hurtful or insulting to the recipient.

Well-meaning motivation or encouragement that lands wrong is hard, because you know that its coming from a place of love, but can end up invalidating your feelings and your struggle. I think I have gotten to a point where I can hear (most) comments like this and move on, but there was a time that it made me SO angry, some of them still do.

And the mother of all bad motivation….

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”

Oh Kate Moss, I wonder what you thought when you said this. This was a crowd-sourced quote, but I really dislike it as well. This quote is the reason that the submitter has an eating disorder – they truly believed this quote and went all in on skinny over taste, and are dealing with its ripples today.
Also, it’s just utter crap.

You know what tastes good, skinny or not? POPCORN. BEER. PROSECCO. COSTCO MUFFINS. CLUB SANDWICHES. TACOS. BREAKFAST BURRITOS. CAKE. FRENCH FRIES. PIZZA. Feelings change, feelings are fleeting. What *feels* good is not always good for you. (Same with things that taste good, which is why it’s all balance, so stop!) PLUS, I know a few skinny folks who have a struggle to gain weight, and who have had to field many rude comments (like, “eat a burger!”) who would absolutely tell you there are things that taste better than skinny feels, and would do a lot to stop those comments.

If you like these quotes and they are helpful – YAY! I believe its fine for anyone to get motivation where they can, as long as it is positive, uplifting, and truly motivating; not harmful, shaming, or directive towards not-so healthy habits. I am sure that I have some things that work for me motivation-wise which don’t work for others – and that’s OK. We’re all different.

We have to end this on a happy note!

Here are two bonus quotes – my two favorite quotes for all motivation!

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Why? Because I think that it’s amazing. It’s a clear call out on our own abilities and how much power we have to change our lives, and our absolute power to completely ignore our own power. We can wish and pray and hope that something changes – that we lose weight, gain weight, get a new job, find a partner, etc. – but none of that will change unless we choose to make a change. If something changes – everything can change.

Do it for….

I love this one because its a fill in the blank. You become your own motivation. On a run, or during a really hard workout, I tell myself to do it for those who can’t, whose bodies don’t let them, and who would love to do what I am complaining about. Other times, I do it for my girls, who have tiny eyes that are always watching me, and who I know will be inundated their whole lives with advertising that tells them they aren’t good enough – so I need to be the example that shows them the opposite.

So there you have it.

My favorite and least favorite “motivation”. Much like my consumption of donuts, I understand that everything is balanced, and nuanced. While I have a strong dislike for these, others may love them. Some see motivation, some see the toxic diet culture that many places and the media promote. Particularly when it comes to being attractive only at a certain weight range, we then dive into the issues of fat-phobia and thus making women and girls feel less-than in society if they aren’t 5’10” 107 pounds. We aren’t all supermodels. And we aren’t all meant to be. Who we are as individuals, including body shape and weight, is what makes us great. We are uniquely individual, body, mind, and personality, and all worthy.

Any motivation that makes you feel THAT? That’s great motivation.